Susan Hwang

My friend Steve gave me a wonderful gift recently.  He jury-rigged, macgyvered the door handles of my car with bits of whatnot and copious gorilla glue.  The driver’s side wouldn’t open from the outside, the passenger side from the inside.  Getting in and out of my car has only been increasingly acrobatic and stupid for the last 2 years.  Some of my friends are nice about it and say they enjoy the “quirkiness” of my vintage ’94 hoopty.  I would just grin and bear it and try not to fixate on the latest sign of decay.

When Steve sent me this picture of his handiwork, I was elated.  I told him so.  He asked if there was any sarcasm in that.  I was taken aback that he might think so.  Of course I was sincere.

Don’t you know, that most things in this world get worse, not better?  In particular, cars?  A mechanic told me once, “They’re not like human bodies. If you leave it alone, it’s not going to heal.  If you don’t fix it, it just gets worse.”

So the fact that Steve took the time and care and attention to do this was a huge gift that was not lost on me.  And yes, I understand about cycles and birth and death and rebirth, so I shouldn’t be so sad about things falling apart, but still, I appreciate that this focused application of gorilla glue means you’re willing to act against universal laws of decay and chaos.  It’s a form of love.  And I will take it.  Every time.  It’s a note my heart hears.  It’s a color that it knows.  The fixed door handles, unclogged drains, air conditioner put in, snow off my windshield, enter my heart as a sweet variety of pure love.

Thank you for defying the universal trend toward decay and chaos for me.  Thanks for making something work.  It’s one of the nicest gifts you can give a girl.

I get such a kick every time I pull on that little pig tail curly cue to get into the driver’s seat.  Ha!  Look at that!  It works!